Damn... I've heard the phrase before. I've even experienced it to a degree. "Add insult to injury." I've never experience it (as far as I remember) as I have today. After all the disgusting scenarious we had to deal with at the mediation hearing the other day, I had to text this woman (I surely didn't want to talk to her!), and ask for a time to see my grandson. It kills me that I have to ask her permission. She agreed, but also said it would be exactly one hour and to meet at such and such time. Son's lawyer talked of more visits, longer hours, and more rights. And here we are stuck at even less time this week. It tears me up... It breaks my heart. And her last sentence was, "and leave your camera at home."

Wait.... We only get to see him one hour a week anyway, so we take every opportunity to take as many pictures as possible. And now she says we can't take pictures!! I called son. I told him to call the CPS worker to see if this was legal. Her first response was that it was all crap! But she said she had to check with her supervisor to make sure. She called back 20 minutes later and said her hands were tied. She could do nothing. This evil witch was his guardian and what she said went and we had to abide by it. Please say you are kidding. No, she wasn't. There was nothing she could do and she wasn't happy about it. We have very little rights, it seems. This woman who deserves nothing has all the power. She started this. She casued this mess, and now she has all the power. How can this be? How can this little innocent life be put in such a precarious place? But it is. And it makes me physically ill.

And she cut his hair, too. She promised me she would wait until he was 18 months old. It was such a sweet look. And yet he came in with his hair cut today. It made me sad. But what could I expect from her?

On a more positive note, our one hour visit brought me some wonderful memories today. As soon as she walked in, I took him from her. I took him to our table and sat him on it. He looked at me and smiled, reached out both his little arms, and dove into my arms! He held on to me and put his little head on my shoulder. Such a wonderful feeling... I held on to him for a minute or two and sat his tiny little backside on the table again. Then he did it again. He reached out for me, and dove into my arms. Sweet little munchkin...

He's worth it. He's worth it all. That sweet little face and sweet little soul deserves SO much more than her. So much more than being brought up like that.

So we continue on to fight the good fight. ...to remember why we fight as hard as we do. He is our motivation. And he's worth everything.