Huge setback. Son was not only uncooperative with the law (in court today) and CPS, but he has a HUGE attitude problem. Until today, we hadn't even seen him in two weeks, and he hasn't seen the baby in that long, either. At this point, I'm afraid she'll get sole custody. If that is true, the best we can hope for is filing for unsupervised visits now and again.

Still fighting, though I don't know how much good it's going to do us anymore without son's cooperation.

I love watching those videos of the most precious one. I had the most wonderful compliment today. I went over to see him again. (We also had his 3 months pics taken yesterday.) I sat and talked to him, close to his face - whispering to him - and he smiled this most beautiful brood smile. I then continued on to tickle him. He giggled and giggled. ...one of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard. His other grandmother said, "Dang it! Everyone, including me, has tried and trid to make him laugh. No one else can do it. Just you. What's your secret."

My secret is pure, unadulterated love. He's bonded with me. He loves me. He loves to see me.

Wow...

I love that.

I really love that more than I can say.

Here's another video. This was taken Wednesday. It's a bit better.

I hate that he's growing up without us being there as often...

:(

*sigh*

It's SO hard to be sad, though, hearing him giggle!!

:)

First of all, I have to thank ALL of you for your thoughts, prayers and kind words of encouragement and support. This has been a tough road so far, but we are still fighting and refuse to give up! I have tried to live the weekend in peace and not worry about all this for a few days, but so many people are so helpful and supportive that I learned more over the weekend from resources I wasn't expecting. We still have work to do, but nothing worth having was ever easy...

We went to visit the baby on Friday night. It makes me sad (so I'll not dwell on it now), but he seems to be losing more and more of his "sparkly" personality everytime we see him. Oh, how he lights up when he sees us, though!! I fed him and played with him for over an hour. When I tickled him this night, he let out a loud "giggle"! I thought to myself, "I've missed so much of his stages..." and then her mother said, "We need to put that in his baby book." I asked her why and she said, "Because that's the first time he's laughed out loud!" Wow... I was the first person to see him smile, and now the first person to hear him giggle aloud! (He'll be 3 months old on Tuesday.)

I know that this is quite dark (the lighting at her house is horribly dark and dank), but you will still get the idea when you hear it...

And that is why I continue to fight... He's so precious.

Well, the news isn't good. ...at least not yet. All of you know I have no intentions of giving up easily.

After speaking to many people, and then many more people, I'm now seeing why CPS was so adamant that we not have joint custody just yet.

I have seen the paperwork. When all this craziness happened with d-i-l, everything was crazy and harried, and it was a "no time for thinking" kind of atmosphere. It appears the reason we have so few choices in this matter is that in the midst of all the paperwork signed while she was being admitted to the hospital and soon after, son (thinking it would be a joint custody agreement) and she signed custody over to her mother. She is legally -- on paper -- the legal custodian of that child. Hubby told son to sign nothing until he could get there and go over the paperwork with him. Son was told there was no time to wait. They told him the baby would be taken away had he not signed RIGHT THEN. So he did. And with the wording, I can see why he thought it would be a "joint custody" arrangement. But no matter what we think, the paperwork was signed. We are told that until the hearing for all this (in 60 days according to CPS), we have no further rights than supervised visitation. The law is on their side.

Now I'm not giving up. I have also discovered blatant, outright lying by the CPS worker. Other things have come to light as well. They said when d-i-l was placed in the psychiatric hospital, it's normal for CPS to be called. We have since found out (only a few days ago) that that wasn't the case at all. Her mother called CPS. And now we are doing more research to find out exactly WHEN she called. Hind sight being 20/20, we are now seeing signs that this whole thing appears to have been a charade at times, and set up for her to take custody of the baby so d-i-l and son would get divorced and she'd raise the baby.

NOT ON MY WATCH!!!

Son has left her now. He is gone. He says there will be no more dealing with her as he was only there for the baby anyway. In his words, "She is too crazy. I can't deal with her anymore. She is impossible to live with in her unstable mental condition." And now, she's even medicated and he still can't take it anymore. I tried to get him to stay just a little longer, but even my mom says it's best he leave before there are any heated arguments or fights that could get the police called on him. There is absolutely, positively no doubt in my mind that she'd be the type of female who would hurt herself and call the police on him. I mean, for goodness sake!! Look at all the depths to which she has gone so far to keep him in her life!! She went off her meds, off birth control, started taking fertility drugs, even sleeping with other guys to ensure she became pregnant!! And according to her own words, it was to keep him in her life. (She did admit to him in the hospital a mere 2 hours after the baby's birth that she'd slept with 2 others around the same time she became pregnant.) Son was devastated. He knew none of these things. That's why I DEMANDED a DNA test!

And her mother is diagnosed with the same mental illness d-i-l is currently treating.

I'm still talking to lawyers. ...still trying to stay in contact with CPS, though now I know that her mother has this case worker in her back pocket. We think she has been talking to her for at least 2 months. When told that we'd get a lawyer and/or another case worker, were warned that the baby would be taken away to a foster home where none of us would see him for some time (for his own "safety and security" was the reasoning). As impossible as it is living like this, at least I get to see him once or twice a week. They can take him away for 2 or more months until he is "settled and secure" in a new household somewhere. They do not have to tell us where that might be.

So for now, the law is on their side. But I'm fighting tooth and nail to turn the tables and get him back. The hearing WILL take place sometime in the next couple of months. It is at that point we'll see where we go next. At least he is young. Maybe he won't remember any of this insanity.

None of us deserve their reign of insanity. ...especially the perfectly innocent.

(Here's a quick edit of the August 31 photo...)


Waiting on the doctor.
***EDIT***
This is the exact hold he had on me when I recieved my first "baby hug". He had one arm around my shoulder, and held firm with the other hand to the front of my shirt! It's as if he's holding on for dear life. He doesn't want me to go or something like that... He's so precious.
***END EDIT***

And as I take out the garbage this week (hubby is very ill... And it doesn't bother me anyway. There is no such thing as "men's" or "women's" work in this house. He cooks.), I walk outside and there it is. I smell it. I hear it. I feel it. The rain... And even in the midst of all the stress, I am brought back to the simpler joys. I took grandson outside for his very first 'rain' when he was only 2 weeks old. These joys are few and far between in north Texas. ...unlike those of us in the very southern coasts. Nonetheless... I begin to appreciate and allow myself to relax just the tiniest bit. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. :)

Thank you, God. And thank you Mother Nature.

For the love of Jimmy

Today is Grandparent's Day.

Happy Grandparent's Day to all grandparents out there!!

It makes me very sad to be without my grandson today, but I did get to see him yesterday. I spent a great amount of time with him. As he hadn't gotten any better from his illness, only worse, when I called Friday night to see if I could visit the cherubic one, I was told that I was needed to take him to the doctor the very next morning. OK. Not a problem. Neither of his parents chose to come to the doctor with us (only his maternal grandmother and I. Hubby chose not to go as he'd been ill with the virus we'd picked up in the beginning, and he was afraid he'd make him worse.)

He has an ear infection and a totally different type of virus this time. He was given antibiotics, a brand name cold medicine, and a baby fever reducer, as well. Poor little urchin. You could tell he felt so bad, and yet he was such an angel. I carried him all day. The little thing -- who was born at 5 lb, 13 oz, is now 12 weeks old and weighs 13 lb, 8 oz!!! Aside from his ear infection and virus, he is such a healthy little one.

When we went into the local Walmart to have his prescriptions filled, I was asked by the greeter why I didn't just get a cart with a "carrier" in it. "It would have been easier," said she. "No, thank you. I just want to hold him." And that I did. For about 4-5 hours (throughout the day). And I relished and enjoyed every single moment. I welcomed sore shoulders and a sore back. He held on to me just the same. He smiled every time I looked in his face. I cuddled him for many hours. ..precious little one.


Poor little thing. You can see by the look in his eyes that he isn't feeling well...


But he sure seems happy to see me -- as am I to see him.


...precious baby.


After we returned home, he was happy to play.






Another big smile for grandma before I had to leave...

I love him so much...

Thank you little one for bringing so much more pure, unbiased, unfettered love into my life.

..into our lives.

Your Grandad and I love you so much.