Things change. Things stay the same.

Considering my birthday is this weekend,
I keep thinking it could be worse.

I mean, look at the alternative...

;)

Life DOES go on...

Live, love, laugh...

I'm sorry my blog seems to be so sad and depressing lately.

I just keep saying...

And thank you all for all your prayers....

They told her the headache was probably due to the anesthesia.

They didn't get all the cancer.

Sister needs another surgery.

Complete hysterectomy.

I thought they should have done that the first time.

I keep thinking she needs a new doctor...

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.
David Borenstein

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
David Weatherford

However long the night, the dawn will break.
African Proverb

Talked to sister every day since her surgery. She told me about this horrific headache she had a few nights ago. No problems from the surgery. No problems for about 36 hours. She got up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. She went back to bed. Almost the second her head hit the pillow, something "exploded" in her head. Her head (uncontrollably) pulled to the right as if a muscle had contracted or twitched uncontrollably. It was the worst thing she has EVER felt in her life, and BOOM, all at once. Believe me, this girl has felt more pain in her life than I could consider. For her to say it was that bad was alarming. She couldn't (and/or wouldn't) speak for about 90 minutes, at which time she called to my mom. (She had agreed to go to mom's house and stay after the surgery in case she needed any help. But in this particular instance, she didn't want to disturb her either. She'd been up late with her. She felt my mom needed sleep.) She was nauseous and threw up. Her head wouldn't stop hurting for about 36 hours. (Still hasn't completely stopped hurting.) Her neck still hurts. She almost went to the hospital, but didn't. She couldn't afford it (in her mind). She prayed to God.

She prayed so hard.

She prayed not to die in mom's house.

(I'm terrified it was something like a brain aneurysm.)

(**Update -- I talked to her very seriously about this and she told me she'd call the doctor today.)

(**Update 2 -- She says she feels fine (minus a nagging headache) so she accepted an appointment for next week.)

Damn. He married her.

...and I didn't hear it from him.

Sister's surgery went very well according to her doctors. She's recovering as well as can be expected. All samples sent to pathology. She will know in two weeks if she'll need a final surgery or not. She's weak, but getting better.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for her.

Oh, yeah...

P.S. Spud woke up from his 4 month nap just before I went to Indiana. Here's a couple of pics I took just a few minutes ago..

Whew...

The last two to three weeks have been a real rollercoaster ride. I'm trying my best to hold on with both hands.

First of all, my trip to Indiana for spring break was awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed myself!! My sister, Pam, and her friend Mandy, met me at the airport and we drove the 80+ miles back to where my family lives. We talked for the two to three hours it took to get home. We stopped along the way and had dinner. It was very nice. I really enjoyed spending time with her.

I spent 8 days mostly staying at my parent's house. Lots of people came to see me. They all groaned when I'd take out the camera, so luckily I was able to get some good pics in only two or three photo sessions! ;) Here's a pic of my sisters and I. Strange as it seems, I am the oldest, and it goes younger with each sister. The youngest is also the shortest! We are Tammy, Kim, Pam, and Angie (in that order).

The third sister, Pam (blond with the glasses), is the one who is getting ready to have surgery for her cancer. April 3 is the day she's having surgery. Pray for her, please. She's such an independent soul that she refuses any help no matter how much we offer. She's a very strong woman, but even the strongest of us needs help now and again...

Here she is with her "babies." The tan chihuahua is a male named Chili. He is the father of the little black and white chihuahua named Sissy. They are so sweet, and they love her a lot. They cry when she leaves. Not an angry or upset noise, but they miss her so much that they pace until she comes back. ...too sweet.

Here is second sister with her pooch. He's a Shih Tzu named Cookie. And he's so sweet! Nothing bothers him. I still don't even know if he can bark! ;) He's very much like my laid back sister...

Youngest sister wasn't around much. She had to work the entire time I was in Indiana.

Husband called me about four days after I got there, at about 1 a.m., to let me know that he'd been in a car accident. He and son were both fine, but he cracked up his car. Since then, he's had one estimate, but he's afraid the insurance company is going to total his car. Bummer...

Son had been having problems with his girlfriend before I left, and decided to move back home while I was gone. We were glad. Those two are seriously toxic for each other. ALL their friends (his, hers, and theirs) agreed that the two should split. It was bad for all concerned.

He came home, got a tidy haircut, started the job interviews, and did what we thought was truly trying to get a new start on a new life.

Imagine our surprise (and everyone else's) when, less than 2 weeks later, he decided to move back in with little miss mental illness.

It was very frustrating, disappointing, and heartbreaking. We had a few things to say about that, and arguing ensued. He left the house saying he never wanted to see or talk to us again.

Heartbreaking...

And so here I am today.

I'm trying to get to an even level of living, letting the things go which aren't important to my life, praying for my sister, calling family often, and letting son know that we are still here for him.

And now I think you are all caught up on my life.

One day at a time...