Damn... I've heard the phrase before. I've even experienced it to a degree. "Add insult to injury." I've never experience it (as far as I remember) as I have today. After all the disgusting scenarious we had to deal with at the mediation hearing the other day, I had to text this woman (I surely didn't want to talk to her!), and ask for a time to see my grandson. It kills me that I have to ask her permission. She agreed, but also said it would be exactly one hour and to meet at such and such time. Son's lawyer talked of more visits, longer hours, and more rights. And here we are stuck at even less time this week. It tears me up... It breaks my heart. And her last sentence was, "and leave your camera at home."

Wait.... We only get to see him one hour a week anyway, so we take every opportunity to take as many pictures as possible. And now she says we can't take pictures!! I called son. I told him to call the CPS worker to see if this was legal. Her first response was that it was all crap! But she said she had to check with her supervisor to make sure. She called back 20 minutes later and said her hands were tied. She could do nothing. This evil witch was his guardian and what she said went and we had to abide by it. Please say you are kidding. No, she wasn't. There was nothing she could do and she wasn't happy about it. We have very little rights, it seems. This woman who deserves nothing has all the power. She started this. She casued this mess, and now she has all the power. How can this be? How can this little innocent life be put in such a precarious place? But it is. And it makes me physically ill.

And she cut his hair, too. She promised me she would wait until he was 18 months old. It was such a sweet look. And yet he came in with his hair cut today. It made me sad. But what could I expect from her?

On a more positive note, our one hour visit brought me some wonderful memories today. As soon as she walked in, I took him from her. I took him to our table and sat him on it. He looked at me and smiled, reached out both his little arms, and dove into my arms! He held on to me and put his little head on my shoulder. Such a wonderful feeling... I held on to him for a minute or two and sat his tiny little backside on the table again. Then he did it again. He reached out for me, and dove into my arms. Sweet little munchkin...

He's worth it. He's worth it all. That sweet little face and sweet little soul deserves SO much more than her. So much more than being brought up like that.

So we continue on to fight the good fight. ...to remember why we fight as hard as we do. He is our motivation. And he's worth everything.

Wow... It's been a very long time since I've been here. Probably no one reading at this point, but I'm glad it's still here so I can vent a bit...

As most know now, my precious granddaughter, Skye, was born last Saturday! She is so beautiful and amazing. I'll be going to see her tomorrow. Lots of pics to follow!

Grandson turned 14 months yesterday. Son turned 24. At the same time, we had another Mediation Hearing yesterday. We were so nervous, and yet excited about it all. Son had done everything CPS had asked of him. ...EVERYTHING. Classes... done. Drug tests (planned and unplanned)... done. Counseling.... done. Home visits... done. Weeks and months of demands.... done! We go to mediation to determine when he'll get him back. Not so simple.

We met with his lawyer. We talked for awhile, then walked across the street to the court house. We waited in the hall for a couple of hours before they finished meeting and asked us to go to our separate rooms. (We were in one room with his lawyer, she with her lawyer in a room, and other grandmother in another room, while D.A., mediator, Guardian Ad Litem, and CPS worker were in another room.) The mediator walked back and forth to rooms asking if we/they would agree to these conditions. I swear if felt more like buying a car than determing the life of an innocent child. The process is ridiculous.

When we walked in, CPS asked that he give full custody to that wicked witch of a grandmother that grandson lives with now. We were shocked. Could have knocked all three of us over with a feather. He said, "HELL, no!" I've done what you asked, now I want my son back. I'm his father. He is my family. I want him back with us all -- including his new baby sister."

We spoke with the guardian ad litem, who smirked the whole time. She reminded me greatly of an evil cartoon character. (You know the one... The wicked witch that tried to capture Ariel... The octupus lady....) She looked straight at my son, smirked and said, "You didn't actually think you were going to walk in here today and get your son, did you?!! HA!!" Then she laughed.

They walked out, came back in, asked that hubby and I leave the room (disbanding us, I'm sure. We strengthen one another. We've always been a strong family unit.) Then, as son told us later, they asked if he'd agree to every other weekend and holidays, still giving her full custody. He said no. Then they walked out again and came in some time later with the request that they have joint custody. He'd have him for a week at a time, but she'd still be the main conservator -- making all the decisions for him. He said 'no' again. Even his lawyer commended him on his strength to stand by his decisions and work toward gaining full custody of his son. So they called it a day and said we'd have to come back another day. They seemed angry that he wouldn't do what they asked, so I swear it seemed to me like they were going to intentionally make it harder for him.

When he asked his lawyer why they were looking to give her full custody and not him, he left the room to ask. He said that CPS had too many cases on the books. They were looking to close as many cases as possible. He's been with her a year now, so the easiest thing to do is give him to her. That looks clean on their report, and then they can close it. That is the sickest reason I've heard yet for giving a child to someone!

She's broken nearly every rule they have!!! Her daughter is not allowed unsupervised visits, and yet she leaves him alone with her! He is supposed to be in his own bed, he still sleeps with her (yes, that's a CPS rule). He still eats 6-9 month stage baby food, even though he's 14 months old! He has barely learned to walk and only because of daycare! He still wears clothes way too small. We've bought clothes for him, but she sells them!!! He has 7 baby teeth, and 3 cavities!!! (I took them to the dentist a couple of weeks ago.) He's still on a bottle, which isn't horrible, but he doesn't know what to do with a sippy cup. He cries for soda because she gives it to him. He's taken more antibiotics in his short life than I have my whole life! And it goes on and on and on....

That proves just how crazy this whole process is. At least in my mind.

And now, after yesterday, she's so mad at us she could spit. She knows we've told on her. She's infuriated! So when I texted her today about a visit, she was short and sweet... 'Exactly one hour and don't bring your camera.' That's just wrong. His lawyer talked about more visitation, and now she's trying to make it less...

You can bet CPS and son's lawyer will get a call on Monday!

But as I said, I'm venting... Now I need to get back to more positive things.

More to come --- including Skye's birth story. QUITE scary. ...and I was there. I'll blog on that soon.

We are going to see baby Skye tomorrow and celebrate son's birthday, and then Monday we go visit grandson. I'll get as many pics as I can!

And onward we go....