Oh, my!

Isn't he adorable?!!
Here it is for those who asked!
Here is grandson's Christmas picture!!
Isn't he just precious?!! I'll try to get more
pics up later (we have several!), and update his
blog maybe over the Christmas holiday. He also turned
6 months old on the day these pics were taken (yesterday!), so
we took a change of clothes and created two different picture sessions
to mark the
occasion!


He smiled and laughed the whole time! He's definitely the STAR on our tree!

Doin' the Happy Dance!!

Hallelujah!!!

I could feel all of you thinking of me and praying for us all through this morning. It gave me courage and strength in the midst of the hearing today. The very most we had hoped for, wished for, prayed for, was a continuation. We hadn't been given any time by CPS to get any kind of case ready. We had a corrupt case worker. We had rules being broken and the wrong people getting all the rights.

That ALL changed today!!

The lawyer took one look at the papers, talked to the kids, talked to the D.A., talked with CPS, and immediately went before the judge asking for a continuation! We now have one month for the lawyers to get together and gather up all the information they might need. They allowed us to speak with the kids' lawyer!!! (Yay!!! We weren't expecting that at all!!) I have a calendar with the dates of everything written down and receipts from everything we've ever bought for her (for him). We told them all about her behavior, the fact that she left the county without permission, has unmedicated bipolar, and everything else we could think of that was relevant. We told them about the case worker who would give her days in advance warning of home visits, and visit often as a "friend." We told them how she refused to communicate with us, but was always in contact with the other grandmother.

By the time the hearing was finished, the case workers boss (and her boss's boss) were in her face telling her that she was off that case immediately. She wasn't allowed to contact the other grandmother ever again -- not even as a friend. The case was on the spot handed to another caseworker! We talked to the lawyer about visitation, and he agreed there were problems before, but that he would work toward getting something set in stone and require that she be there or be held in contempt of court! He said that even better than that was trying to get a CASA worker set aside for us!! (The other case worker said absolutely NOT. We couldn't have one.) They are also going to get counseling and parenting classes set up for the kids. The other worker refused to help with any of that.

So all in all, it was a very good day. Obviously, I would have loved for the judge to say that we could have full custody of grandson, but it doesn't happen that fast or easily. It's baby steps to get the best for him. At least now, though, the bad apples have been weeded out, and the kids have lawyers!! I must be thankful for every step of the way...

And I'm VERY thankful to all my friends who have been praying for us and holding us in their thoughts! Believe me, I truly could feel all of you with us this morning. It gave us a calm that I can't even begin to explain. Thank you all...

MUCH LOVE AND MANY HUGS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!

We went to visit grandson yesterday. As usual, she put us off until 3 p.m. (It's been much later quite often. Our 'normal' visitation is 1 p.m.) She won't let us sit with him in the house for 5 minutes while she runs across the street, and yet she let her daughter take him to a coworkers house and SPEND THE NIGHT!! Now, not only is her daughter not supposed to have him at all, she isn't allowed to see the baby without her mother's direct (right in the room) supervision. That blows my mind. And she still won't let us have him for 5 minutes without her being right there. I took her on errands one day, and she wouldn't even let me sit in the car with him by myself!!!! It really makes me angry.

Nonetheless, we had a wonderful visit with the little munchkin yesterday. It was very nice to see him. We brought along the video camera, as well as the normal digital camera that we normally bring. We are hoping to send my parents some videotape for Christmas. They've still never seen him except in still photos.

Well, tomorrow is the court date. I'm so nervous I don't know what to do with myself. I do know from talking to a friend who has dealt with Texas CPS for nearly 5 years now what to expect, and I've talked to our own lawyer. Basically, not being listed on those court documents, we have no rights. We cannot ask for visitation tomorrow. We can't ask for the holidays with him. We can't ask for or testify for anything at all. We will only be there for moral support. It's been a heart breaker, but it's reality. It makes me very sad, but we must go anyway. I have to know what is going on, plus I know that son will appreciate our continued support in this matter. He is going to ask for a continuance since they refused to call him back about his lawyer until just this very morning. That leaves him with no time to talk to him until court tomorrow. I guess that's pretty normal for CPS, too. A continuance would help his lawyer dig up new information, though, so we're hoping it goes that way.

Can I ask that you send up a few prayers in this direction? Pray that the judge is kind and fair, the lawyers are fair, and that the 'right' things begin to unfold for all of us. I know that's probably selfish, but I'm not asking for everything to be perfect for us, just what is fair. I pray that they see what a manipulative, mean-spirited, and unwell woman his other grandmother really is. I pray that they see us for what we really are. Thank you all for all your support and prayers thus far. It means more to us than you know. Your comments and concerns have lifted my spirits. I'm very thankful for you all.

Well, the bad stuff is still there. The court date is next Tuesday. In the meantime, though, I had a very nice visit with grandson this past Tuesday!

She said that he had just had his bottle and was sleeping. He was sound asleep, too. I took him from her. I tickled him and talked to him. Slowly his eyes opened. Once he opened them enough to see me, his eyes became HUGE!! He smiled a broad smile that seemed to cover half his face!! He was so animated and excited that I was there. We laughed and played. I took several pictures and even one video. He is always so happy when I (we) are there. You can tell he's so glad we are there.

But after an hour or so when I began to leave, he became different. When I put him down, he started to fuss and whine. He just kept looking at me and reaching out for me. He kept trying to "talk" and get me to pick him up again. (Which I did a couple of times.) He would sit on my lap and put both little arms around me and bury his face in my chest. He didn't want me to go. When I finally had to go for the night, his other grandmother had to pick him up. He was reaching for me and pouting with his little lip. He was sad to see me go. Of course it broke my heart. ...all to bits.

Then I realized something. He remembers me. He knows me. He's elated to see me come in. He's to an age where he knows, and he wants me there. Though it broke my heart to leave him, I was also very happy in the knowledge that he's understanding now and that he's so happy to be with me. He loves me. How precious and wonderful is that?

It just doesn't get a whole lot better than that...

It warmed my heart tremendously, and left my heart overflowing with love and emotion.

What a precious little one.

**Edit***

I really wish I could say that I was overdramatizing some of this stuff, but if anything, I'm probably not telling you all that goes on. It's far too frustrating and heartbreaking to go into every detail. But it's true, I believe that they just don't care how much she lies. I kept hearing "prove it" from the CPS worker when I brought it up. It's just our word against hers, and heaven forbid they go back on what they've done so far. It just MIGHT prove they were wrong!!! Can't have that...

**End Edit***

Just spoke to the case worker for the first time in about 3 months. Wouldn't you know it had nothing to do with the fact that I've called her many times already. She called me because the other grandmother (if she can be called that) called her and complained about us.

Her exact words were, after about 20 minutes of conversation and questions on my part, "You're just the grandparents. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do for you!"

After this conversation, I'm livid. I haven't been so angry in a long time.

I wish there were more I could say. I'm so tired of feeling this way. ...saying the same things over and over.

We had an appointment to see him today at 1 p.m. Of the last 3 Sundays in a row, she's not shown up when she said she would on 2 of those occassions. Our set time is normally 1 p.m. Three Sundays ago, we waited for her until 4 p.m. After leaving, she called us and pretended she didn't know we had that appointment. Today, she said 1, but at 2 was still giving me excuses why she wasn't there. I told her I'd have to see her tomorrow. I can't deal with this frustration so often. She does it all the time. She says 6:30 during the week when we call. If we're lucky, maybe we can get to see him by 8. ...and that's with an already "approved" by her appointment! She called back when she finally got home today, after I'd already called her, told her I would see her tomorrow and that I was calling CPS because I couldn't take the delays and put-offs any longer, she called back and said I "better not" ever do that to her again!! She told me she had already called CPS and told them the whole story!!! (HUH??!!! Didn't this JUST happen?!) This woman is playing such a scary game, and the poor baby is the one who is losing. I called her daughter to see what was going on. She said she'd gotten into an argument with her mother two nights ago. And as usual, her mother said she was calling CPS.

I'm so tired of this game she feels it's necessary to play.

I had a consultation with a lawyer on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I hand picked her. She said she'd worked with CPS for 7 years as a defending attorney. She said that after 7 years, she could take no more of their games. ...and they're ALWAYS "right." She told me after I questioned her several times about CPS procedures, etc., "My last piece of advice to you is that if you are planning on 'taking down' CPS or winning your case against them based on them not following their own rules and playing correctly, you will lose. They are allowed to play by whatever rules they choose, it seems, and the judge almost always rules for them -- no matter what."

This isn't anywhere near the first time I've heard there's nothing they can do. I guess I just thought with her CPS experience, she might know a few more things than the other lawyers did.

Damn.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL!!!

For the whole 2 of you who may still be reading my blog... ( :D)

All I'm going to say is that things have gotten even worse since I talked to you last. Don't even know how to describe it. I walked into work today and my boss asked how things were going. "OK," said I. She said, "Same old chaos as always? You seem to live in a world of chaos." "Yes," I agreed. "Still chaotic..."

Hubby is back in the hospital. So many MORE tests once he had another episode. He's always had huge veins (so much so that when he was in the military, he was the guy that all the doctors wanted to practice on since his veins were so large). This time, they had trouble finding one. He'd thrown up so many times that he was SO dehydrated that they had trouble finding a vein.

But I'm not here for all that...

Let's try to stay as positive as possible...

This is my precious baby... He's 5 months old now. He's such a precious gift. He makes us fight on even when we have a hard time fighting. He's worth it.

I shouldn't be up right now. It's really late. (...or early if you choose.)

Not much I can really say.

First let me say that hubby is slowly getting better. Some days are better than others, and some days are really bad. The doctors said it would take time, though.

Work is going well for me. I'm managing to stay busy, but I'll only be able to work (and get paid for) 3 of the next 6 weeks. That's how it's always been though. I have to take a week off for Thanksgiving and 2 weeks off for Christmas. The policy there has always been, 'no work, no pay' We'll manage, though. It's nice to have the time off, but horrible when it comes to paying bills.

Son received a certified letter a couple of days ago. His m-i-l has joined up with CPS and ordered a court date to "terminate parental rights". She even included her own daughter in the mix. She's also requesting that all her daugher's rights be terminated. Sad, really. And when it comes down to brass tacks, it's all over money. When she mentioned it to her daughter and they tried to talk about it, her mom actually said, "You are just mad because you'll be having to pay me money!" Huh... What?!!

Umm... This is grating on my nerves so badly. We've recently found out that Texas doesn't have a set 'grandparent's law.' We've been told by a lawyer that we have less rights being the paternal grandparents. It's making me so sad. ...the thought that we could lose that precious baby just tears my heart out. It goes so much deeper than that. It would take me many days just to be able to describe what I'm feeling and what this story entails in this crazy, mixed up, one sided, 'her mom has cps in her back pocket' kind of experience.

When does the craziness end?

But we're working on it. Son is coming over tomorrow so we can discuss the legality of the suit. We're going to see the baby afterward. For all we know, this could be the last time we see him before the Dec. 9 court date. We're going to start calling lawyers yet again. I just want this to be over so badly. I want to have him (a MINIMUM) of weekends. I want him to remember us and how precious and dear he is in our eyes and hearts.

...and that may never happen.

So onward we go yet again.

Thank you all for all your prayers and good thoughts and wishes. We'll hold onto all that as we move forward in this fight.

And here is the precious one with the cutest little sleeper on that says, "I love my Grandma!"
(Taken last week.) He's now 5 months old and weighs 19 pounds. I love him so much...

I couldn't thank you enough no matter how I tried. YOU are what this country is all about. Thank you for your bravery and courage. Thank you for making this country a better place to live. Thank you for freedoms we enjoy on a daily basis because of your sacrifice.

Thank you.

Feeling a bit better today. It isn't like me to be so down. Some days just put you there, though.

I have to say that her mother is increasingly frustrating. No matter what I do. Son won't step up. D-I-L isn't doing much better.

I won't go beyond that.

But it frustrates. And it hurts me to see the light leaving this little ones eyes.

He's so precious, though. I have no choice but to tolerate and to put up with frustration and aggravation just to keep him in my presence as much as possible.

Sometimes I swear, ...I swear, that I feel so alone sometimes.

In the midst of it all -- in the midst of so many people sometimes, I just feel so alone.

Sorry.

This isn't me.

I have not felt like blogging much lately. I'm still pretty tired and not getting enough sleep. So I pretty much just work and go home, do a couple of chores, go see the baby, and sleep. It is getting a touch better, though.

Hubby is slowly getting better every day. He's on the right track anyway. He still has two doctors appointments next week.

I just wanted to share a couple of pictures with you that were taken last weekend. Son came back into town for a little while to visit with us and go see his son. (I guess it upset him greatly hearing his dad was in the hospital.)

Like I said, these were from last Sunday. Hubby had not even been out of the hospital 24 hours yet. That's why he looks a bit tired... Though he was very happy to see grandson again.

I hope that all of you are well and healthy!

(And, no, this is not my house.)

The little angel is now 4 months old. He's just precious... You can tell he loves his Grandad!

And the fun continues... :P

We finally heard from son, even though it was just a quick sentence or two on a public blog. He said he was okay and that he wanted to "say sorry to dad" for his bad behavior at the courthouse. That's good. He said some pretty bad things that broke everyone's heart, especially his dad's.

She's still in the hospital. Don't know when she's getting out. Her mother is trying to get the doctors to keep her in longer this time since she (as do we all) believes that she was released much too early last time.

Hubby broke a rib. We spent part of yesterday in the emergency room. He had slipped and fallen about a week ago. He thought he broke a rib, but said that they couldn't do much more for him than wrap it and give him pain meds. It started to swell -- badly -- so I finally convinced him to go to the ER. Yes, it was confirmed. The good news is that it was a clean break with no bone fragments floating around, nor were any of his vital organs punctured. His liver and pancreas and lungs were pretty bruised, but no internal bleeding. Thank goodness for that!

I'm still working. No real problems (aside from the obvious, ongoing ones) to report. I'm going to see grandson again tonight. I forgot my camera at home, but maybe I'll post a couple more pics of previous ones that I haven't yet posted a bit later on.

Thanks again for all your support, guys. You have no idea how much you keep me going sometimes...

When grandson would stay with us just a short while ago, he would laugh and smile all the time. I've noticed that it's harder and harder to make him smile. It seems to me that he has 'lost' his personality. He used to be so full of joy with us. Even as young as he is, I'm seeing that part of him as nearly gone. The 'sparkle' seems to be lost as he travels from babysitter to babysitter and house to house. It breaks my heart to see that. I've been told recently that I am "the light" in grandson's eyes. I am here to show him care and true, unconditional, love. He knows I am here.
And no matter what, once he looks into my eyes (and truly, he will look everywhere, but once his eyes light on mine), he sees that in me. He smiles broadly and just clings to me when I am there...

I also have friends who see that light in me. They say that they hate to see me so hurt and darkened by this. ...that if I just show my true personality, the light will show through for all to see, and I may not be so hurt by all that is around me. I didn't think people saw that in ME. All I need is that grandson see that in me. To know that others do, too, is absolutely amazing.

I do what I can. I am here when I am needed. ..even for d-i-l and her mother if they need me.

I have not so positive opinions or thoughts about her or her mother, but they are people, too. We all need help now and again from others -- whether it be emotional or physical or just a helping hand when we need it.

The situation is very sad and maddening and crazy. We just do what we can -- when we can -- and hope that it is enough.

Thank you all for being here for me. I TRULY appreciate it. It makes my days easier. I have to say that I have the most amazing blog friends. I really do. I think I just have the most amazing friends, period! Thank you all for all your support.

Here are a couple of pics of the little angel baby. He was 3 months old. These were professionally done. I still believe that a lot of times I take much better pics... ;D

Just got a call this morning. She's back in the psychiatric hospital again. ...a suicide attempt Sunday night. Still haven't heard from son since he behaved so badly.

The world is crazy.

Going to visit grandson tonight.

**EDIT**
Sorry to be so negative. There's just so much "negativity" going on around us. But I do have some happy moments. I didn't want that forgotten. I have a lot of good people in my life who care about me.

We are still in limbo with grandson. We visit a couple times a week. That's about all we can do for now. We just got his '3 month' pics back. He's about 3 1/2 months now and really big (considering how small he was at birth). He seems to be pretty healthy. After hearing the other grandmother's experiences with her own daughter as a baby, I'm more convinced every day that grandson is very much like son in personality. Son was an amazingly good baby. ...very sweet and very happy.

I'd give almost anything to have grandson back with us again.

Yes, she is still in the hospital. Don't know what's going to happen with that. Son is still living a couple of hours away.

Huge setback. Son was not only uncooperative with the law (in court today) and CPS, but he has a HUGE attitude problem. Until today, we hadn't even seen him in two weeks, and he hasn't seen the baby in that long, either. At this point, I'm afraid she'll get sole custody. If that is true, the best we can hope for is filing for unsupervised visits now and again.

Still fighting, though I don't know how much good it's going to do us anymore without son's cooperation.

I love watching those videos of the most precious one. I had the most wonderful compliment today. I went over to see him again. (We also had his 3 months pics taken yesterday.) I sat and talked to him, close to his face - whispering to him - and he smiled this most beautiful brood smile. I then continued on to tickle him. He giggled and giggled. ...one of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard. His other grandmother said, "Dang it! Everyone, including me, has tried and trid to make him laugh. No one else can do it. Just you. What's your secret."

My secret is pure, unadulterated love. He's bonded with me. He loves me. He loves to see me.

Wow...

I love that.

I really love that more than I can say.

Here's another video. This was taken Wednesday. It's a bit better.

I hate that he's growing up without us being there as often...

:(

*sigh*

It's SO hard to be sad, though, hearing him giggle!!

:)

First of all, I have to thank ALL of you for your thoughts, prayers and kind words of encouragement and support. This has been a tough road so far, but we are still fighting and refuse to give up! I have tried to live the weekend in peace and not worry about all this for a few days, but so many people are so helpful and supportive that I learned more over the weekend from resources I wasn't expecting. We still have work to do, but nothing worth having was ever easy...

We went to visit the baby on Friday night. It makes me sad (so I'll not dwell on it now), but he seems to be losing more and more of his "sparkly" personality everytime we see him. Oh, how he lights up when he sees us, though!! I fed him and played with him for over an hour. When I tickled him this night, he let out a loud "giggle"! I thought to myself, "I've missed so much of his stages..." and then her mother said, "We need to put that in his baby book." I asked her why and she said, "Because that's the first time he's laughed out loud!" Wow... I was the first person to see him smile, and now the first person to hear him giggle aloud! (He'll be 3 months old on Tuesday.)

I know that this is quite dark (the lighting at her house is horribly dark and dank), but you will still get the idea when you hear it...

And that is why I continue to fight... He's so precious.

Well, the news isn't good. ...at least not yet. All of you know I have no intentions of giving up easily.

After speaking to many people, and then many more people, I'm now seeing why CPS was so adamant that we not have joint custody just yet.

I have seen the paperwork. When all this craziness happened with d-i-l, everything was crazy and harried, and it was a "no time for thinking" kind of atmosphere. It appears the reason we have so few choices in this matter is that in the midst of all the paperwork signed while she was being admitted to the hospital and soon after, son (thinking it would be a joint custody agreement) and she signed custody over to her mother. She is legally -- on paper -- the legal custodian of that child. Hubby told son to sign nothing until he could get there and go over the paperwork with him. Son was told there was no time to wait. They told him the baby would be taken away had he not signed RIGHT THEN. So he did. And with the wording, I can see why he thought it would be a "joint custody" arrangement. But no matter what we think, the paperwork was signed. We are told that until the hearing for all this (in 60 days according to CPS), we have no further rights than supervised visitation. The law is on their side.

Now I'm not giving up. I have also discovered blatant, outright lying by the CPS worker. Other things have come to light as well. They said when d-i-l was placed in the psychiatric hospital, it's normal for CPS to be called. We have since found out (only a few days ago) that that wasn't the case at all. Her mother called CPS. And now we are doing more research to find out exactly WHEN she called. Hind sight being 20/20, we are now seeing signs that this whole thing appears to have been a charade at times, and set up for her to take custody of the baby so d-i-l and son would get divorced and she'd raise the baby.

NOT ON MY WATCH!!!

Son has left her now. He is gone. He says there will be no more dealing with her as he was only there for the baby anyway. In his words, "She is too crazy. I can't deal with her anymore. She is impossible to live with in her unstable mental condition." And now, she's even medicated and he still can't take it anymore. I tried to get him to stay just a little longer, but even my mom says it's best he leave before there are any heated arguments or fights that could get the police called on him. There is absolutely, positively no doubt in my mind that she'd be the type of female who would hurt herself and call the police on him. I mean, for goodness sake!! Look at all the depths to which she has gone so far to keep him in her life!! She went off her meds, off birth control, started taking fertility drugs, even sleeping with other guys to ensure she became pregnant!! And according to her own words, it was to keep him in her life. (She did admit to him in the hospital a mere 2 hours after the baby's birth that she'd slept with 2 others around the same time she became pregnant.) Son was devastated. He knew none of these things. That's why I DEMANDED a DNA test!

And her mother is diagnosed with the same mental illness d-i-l is currently treating.

I'm still talking to lawyers. ...still trying to stay in contact with CPS, though now I know that her mother has this case worker in her back pocket. We think she has been talking to her for at least 2 months. When told that we'd get a lawyer and/or another case worker, were warned that the baby would be taken away to a foster home where none of us would see him for some time (for his own "safety and security" was the reasoning). As impossible as it is living like this, at least I get to see him once or twice a week. They can take him away for 2 or more months until he is "settled and secure" in a new household somewhere. They do not have to tell us where that might be.

So for now, the law is on their side. But I'm fighting tooth and nail to turn the tables and get him back. The hearing WILL take place sometime in the next couple of months. It is at that point we'll see where we go next. At least he is young. Maybe he won't remember any of this insanity.

None of us deserve their reign of insanity. ...especially the perfectly innocent.

(Here's a quick edit of the August 31 photo...)


Waiting on the doctor.
***EDIT***
This is the exact hold he had on me when I recieved my first "baby hug". He had one arm around my shoulder, and held firm with the other hand to the front of my shirt! It's as if he's holding on for dear life. He doesn't want me to go or something like that... He's so precious.
***END EDIT***

And as I take out the garbage this week (hubby is very ill... And it doesn't bother me anyway. There is no such thing as "men's" or "women's" work in this house. He cooks.), I walk outside and there it is. I smell it. I hear it. I feel it. The rain... And even in the midst of all the stress, I am brought back to the simpler joys. I took grandson outside for his very first 'rain' when he was only 2 weeks old. These joys are few and far between in north Texas. ...unlike those of us in the very southern coasts. Nonetheless... I begin to appreciate and allow myself to relax just the tiniest bit. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. :)

Thank you, God. And thank you Mother Nature.

For the love of Jimmy

Today is Grandparent's Day.

Happy Grandparent's Day to all grandparents out there!!

It makes me very sad to be without my grandson today, but I did get to see him yesterday. I spent a great amount of time with him. As he hadn't gotten any better from his illness, only worse, when I called Friday night to see if I could visit the cherubic one, I was told that I was needed to take him to the doctor the very next morning. OK. Not a problem. Neither of his parents chose to come to the doctor with us (only his maternal grandmother and I. Hubby chose not to go as he'd been ill with the virus we'd picked up in the beginning, and he was afraid he'd make him worse.)

He has an ear infection and a totally different type of virus this time. He was given antibiotics, a brand name cold medicine, and a baby fever reducer, as well. Poor little urchin. You could tell he felt so bad, and yet he was such an angel. I carried him all day. The little thing -- who was born at 5 lb, 13 oz, is now 12 weeks old and weighs 13 lb, 8 oz!!! Aside from his ear infection and virus, he is such a healthy little one.

When we went into the local Walmart to have his prescriptions filled, I was asked by the greeter why I didn't just get a cart with a "carrier" in it. "It would have been easier," said she. "No, thank you. I just want to hold him." And that I did. For about 4-5 hours (throughout the day). And I relished and enjoyed every single moment. I welcomed sore shoulders and a sore back. He held on to me just the same. He smiled every time I looked in his face. I cuddled him for many hours. ..precious little one.


Poor little thing. You can see by the look in his eyes that he isn't feeling well...


But he sure seems happy to see me -- as am I to see him.


...precious baby.


After we returned home, he was happy to play.






Another big smile for grandma before I had to leave...

I love him so much...

Thank you little one for bringing so much more pure, unbiased, unfettered love into my life.

..into our lives.

Your Grandad and I love you so much.

I don't really know what to say to everyone right now. My emotional and physical well-being have been horrific lately. I had to leave work early Friday with a stomach bug thing. (Stayed with me for nearly 2 days. And I also know that it was largely stress related.) All this emotional stuff with CPS is making me insane. I know that I am one of the most patient people on the planet, and yet this is testing my very limits. I don't know why this is happening to us, and yet, there's nothing I can do but play the game. The CPS worker told me that the red tape is slow and we must just wait it out. Because her mother had been talking to them (and evidently, what she says goes for now) and had physical custody at the time, we are just 'out of luck' until they are able to find some time to investigate. What?!! It's like a puzzle you have to figure out to get through to them. We are working on that puzzle. ...one piece at a time. (No, we haven't forgotten about getting a lawyer. We have a couple puzzle pieces to get through first before that would even be a good option.

Because I've always, always offered my car and my services for the baby's needs, I took them to the doctor on Friday. He had to have his immunizations. I have a couple pics that I will share. (I take pics all the time!!)

At the doctor's office. He doesn't realize immunizations start today. :(

I tried to get a full body shot, but he couldn't be still! He's 11 weeks, 12 lbs 11 oz, and 23.5 inches long!! When we compared that to his dad's measurements, he was right on!! ...nearly exact!

Waiting on the doctor.

***EDIT***

This is the exact hold he had on me when I recieved my first "baby hug". He had one arm around my shoulder, and held firm with the other hand to the front of my shirt! It's as if he's holding on for dear life. He doesn't want me to go or something like that... He's so precious.

***END EDIT***

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We had our first 'visitation' tonight. She agreed to meet us at a pizza place. It seemed so wrong, but I was just happy to see my little angel. I have noticed one thing, though, that disturbs me. I've noticed that he seems much more lethargic and nowhere near as happy as before. When she brought him, he was asleep. Of course we woke him up! The first time he opened his eyes and saw his grandad would have warmed the coldest heart. I'll share those pics, too. He was asleep when we walked into the restaurant. This is when he woke up and saw his Grandad waking him up!

He loves his grandad!



My sweet baby falls asleep holding on to me.

He, again, grabbed hold of my shirt. I hope it's not because he thinks I'll leave him... :(

He so easily falls asleep in my arms.

My precious little angel. There's no doubt just how much he loves us now that we haven't seen hm in a few days. He really, really misses us

I hope we'll be able to see him as often as possible until this red tape and other mess gets moving. We're not asking for everything -- only joint custody. I don't know how long it will take. But we'll NEVER stop fighting.