I don't really know what to say to everyone right now. My emotional and physical well-being have been horrific lately. I had to leave work early Friday with a stomach bug thing. (Stayed with me for nearly 2 days. And I also know that it was largely stress related.) All this emotional stuff with CPS is making me insane. I know that I am one of the most patient people on the planet, and yet this is testing my very limits. I don't know why this is happening to us, and yet, there's nothing I can do but play the game. The CPS worker told me that the red tape is slow and we must just wait it out. Because her mother had been talking to them (and evidently, what she says goes for now) and had physical custody at the time, we are just 'out of luck' until they are able to find some time to investigate. What?!! It's like a puzzle you have to figure out to get through to them. We are working on that puzzle. ...one piece at a time. (No, we haven't forgotten about getting a lawyer. We have a couple puzzle pieces to get through first before that would even be a good option.

Because I've always, always offered my car and my services for the baby's needs, I took them to the doctor on Friday. He had to have his immunizations. I have a couple pics that I will share. (I take pics all the time!!)

At the doctor's office. He doesn't realize immunizations start today. :(

I tried to get a full body shot, but he couldn't be still! He's 11 weeks, 12 lbs 11 oz, and 23.5 inches long!! When we compared that to his dad's measurements, he was right on!! ...nearly exact!

Waiting on the doctor.

***EDIT***

This is the exact hold he had on me when I recieved my first "baby hug". He had one arm around my shoulder, and held firm with the other hand to the front of my shirt! It's as if he's holding on for dear life. He doesn't want me to go or something like that... He's so precious.

***END EDIT***

.

We had our first 'visitation' tonight. She agreed to meet us at a pizza place. It seemed so wrong, but I was just happy to see my little angel. I have noticed one thing, though, that disturbs me. I've noticed that he seems much more lethargic and nowhere near as happy as before. When she brought him, he was asleep. Of course we woke him up! The first time he opened his eyes and saw his grandad would have warmed the coldest heart. I'll share those pics, too. He was asleep when we walked into the restaurant. This is when he woke up and saw his Grandad waking him up!

He loves his grandad!



My sweet baby falls asleep holding on to me.

He, again, grabbed hold of my shirt. I hope it's not because he thinks I'll leave him... :(

He so easily falls asleep in my arms.

My precious little angel. There's no doubt just how much he loves us now that we haven't seen hm in a few days. He really, really misses us

I hope we'll be able to see him as often as possible until this red tape and other mess gets moving. We're not asking for everything -- only joint custody. I don't know how long it will take. But we'll NEVER stop fighting.

I can't speak. I can't breathe.

We've lost him. ...for now.

We just learned she's been telling all sorts of lies to CPS for some time, unbeknownst to us.

All they will say is that they have to "investigate." Until then, all our visitation and custody rights are gone.

I've never known such heartbreak.

Her daughter is moving in with her tomorrow. RJ is probably moving in with us. Because I did the "honest and fair" thing and shared custody with her, she currently has 'physical' custody, and we are just out of luck. I can't believe some of the things I'm hearing from the CPS people. When we say it's wrong, we are just told to wait until they look into it.

We have a meeting tomorrow, but I don't know. It's pretty scary what stories they've told as they begin to unfold. You can definitely see the insanity in them both. How CPS DOESN'T see it is beyond me!! We think she has a restraining order just so we can't be anywhere near him to possibly visit...

Please. PLEASE Lord let this be a nightmare. This can't be real.

We were supposed to pick him up in the morning. He's supposed to come home with me.

no.

NO.

NO!!!!

Please don't tell me that we can't have him. Since he's been born, we've had him. We brought him home the first time at 4 days old. He was/is ours. We've figured out that even between the few of us, hubby and I have had 'custody' of him more than the 3 of them put together!!!

We love him.

He is ours.

What do you mean we can't have him?!!

We love you, Jimmy.

Please don't forget how much your grandparents love you.

:'(

I have, very literally, received a phone call that has me shaking and my heart pounding. ...and not in a good way.

We've been trying to be nice and divide up custody of grandson with his other grandmother. No legalities, just "you keep him these days and we'll keep him those days." We kept him for 4 days and handed him over to her late Monday night.

Sometime between Monday night and this morning, she called Child Protection Services!! She has him right now. Right now, son and dil no longer have custody of that baby! From what I've heard, we are to "legally" share custody now. Since she (in our good faith) let her keep him the last couple of days, she now has physical custody of him!!!

I'm trying as hard as I can not to burst into tears where I sit.

I've been told to expect a call from a social worker at CPS. I don't even begin to pretend I know what's going to happen next. I have no idea what she's told them. I don't know exactly why they are going to be calling me. I don't know anything.

Oh, man. If I could just stop shaking...

**EDIT**

Son called and said they took most of his baby furniture, clothes, toys, etc. out of the house. I can't even begin to tell you how depressed I know that is making him. He's been living for that baby. And his other grandmother won't even answer the phone. We were supposed to pick him up at 7 a.m. tomorrow.

I'm lost.

**EDIT**

Not a lot new to report. Things remain pretty much the same for now.

For those of you wondering, we are sharing custody of grandson. Having researched this all before he was even born, we know what rights she has, as well as what we have. Son is keeping him, as well, but he's working/looking for more work. She keeps him on her "weekend" days (Monday night through Wednesday) and we are keeping him most of the rest of that time.

We are doing the best we can -- one day at a time. All we can do is be here for whatever is needed, and keep that precious baby away from as much stress as possible. He's such a happy little soul.

And speaking of grandson, here are a couple more pics taken recently...

Playing coy...

BIG grin!

Check out that grip on my shirt. He fell asleep that way.

You couldn't tell, but poor thing has a virus. He's not feeling well.

And you'd NEVER be able to tell he was sick here!

What an angel. This is one of my favorite pics of him.

I don't have long to post. Heck, I'm so confused and befuddled, I don't even know what to say. ...what I can say now.

The insanity surrounding son and wife is reaching epic proportions.

I (we) need all the prayers we can possibly get right now. I'll try to fill you in in the next few days when things begin to settle down. Right now it's all raw. Emotions are heated. Even I (with my normally level and patient demeanor) was in a raw, heated, toxic spewing argument with her mother. None of it should have happened. I'm not in the least bit proud of my behavior. (Yes, I apologized a few times once we both calmed down.) All sanity has lost it's place in this awful mess.

Pray that we can all make it through the darkness to see the light.

I'll be back when I can.

Thank you.

****EDIT****

Daughter in law was just taken -- with 4 police cars -- and by ambulance, to the nearest mental health facility. She's been unstable for quite some time. Her mother is trying to take full guardianship of grandson. I can't handle this.

I'm heartbroken.

....more heartbroken than I've ever been in my life.

Please keep us in your prayers.

*****EDIT 8/22*****

We are going to try joint custody with her mother temporarily.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 32 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Wow... Where DOES the time go?!

Son is 23 years old today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I felt a lot better this week and weekend. There was no drama, unless she was involved, and only for about 10 minutes on one day. This whole week, I've only had to deal with son, his friends, and grandson. It was a much, MUCH easier week! We were all comfortable, happy, and in the moment. I picked grandson up after work on Friday, and only took him home about 3 hours ago.

You know how there are moments in your life that you will just never forget? I have quite a few, but I added to my collection Friday after work. Son called to see when I was picking up grandson at about 4:45. I told him I'd be on my way in about 15 minutes. (He lives about 10 minutes away.) He said that grandson had become fussy and almost inconsolable. I could hear him in the background. Son instructed me to not even knock, just come on in when I got there.

As soon as I walked in, one of son's friends was just picking up a crying baby and son said, "Give him to grandma. She just has a way with him." He turned to hand him to me. As grandson saw me, he became excited. You could see it on his face! As soon as I took him in my arms, he wrapped one arm around my arm. With the other arm, he grabbed the front of my shirt and held on, and buried his face in my shoulder. ...and was quiet except for a few excited breaths. It's the best baby hug I've ever had. And he wouldn't let go. At 8 weeks, he knows me. ...he loves me.

Son says, "See what I mean? She has a way with him."

What did you do over your weekend? This is what I did on mine...

He's 8 weeks old now.

I don't know WHAT is happening to me lately. I tear up or cry over the simplest things. It's not always just the sad things. I watch tv shows -- even commercials make me begin to exude teardrops! What the heck?! I'm becoming so emotional. (...even more so than normal.)

I suppose there are worse things...

In the meantime, here are a couple more pics. (I haven't put pics on his blog in a while, so I really need to update, but you can see him at my blog!! :D)


His very first bathtub bath at our house.


He was so happy to be clean and dry that he began to coo and "talk" for nearly 15 minutes!







He brings a smile to my face every time I see these pics. What a photogenic angel!!

He's 7 weeks now.

;)