Oh, my!

Isn't he adorable?!!
Here it is for those who asked!
Here is grandson's Christmas picture!!
Isn't he just precious?!! I'll try to get more
pics up later (we have several!), and update his
blog maybe over the Christmas holiday. He also turned
6 months old on the day these pics were taken (yesterday!), so
we took a change of clothes and created two different picture sessions
to mark the
occasion!


He smiled and laughed the whole time! He's definitely the STAR on our tree!

Doin' the Happy Dance!!

Hallelujah!!!

I could feel all of you thinking of me and praying for us all through this morning. It gave me courage and strength in the midst of the hearing today. The very most we had hoped for, wished for, prayed for, was a continuation. We hadn't been given any time by CPS to get any kind of case ready. We had a corrupt case worker. We had rules being broken and the wrong people getting all the rights.

That ALL changed today!!

The lawyer took one look at the papers, talked to the kids, talked to the D.A., talked with CPS, and immediately went before the judge asking for a continuation! We now have one month for the lawyers to get together and gather up all the information they might need. They allowed us to speak with the kids' lawyer!!! (Yay!!! We weren't expecting that at all!!) I have a calendar with the dates of everything written down and receipts from everything we've ever bought for her (for him). We told them all about her behavior, the fact that she left the county without permission, has unmedicated bipolar, and everything else we could think of that was relevant. We told them about the case worker who would give her days in advance warning of home visits, and visit often as a "friend." We told them how she refused to communicate with us, but was always in contact with the other grandmother.

By the time the hearing was finished, the case workers boss (and her boss's boss) were in her face telling her that she was off that case immediately. She wasn't allowed to contact the other grandmother ever again -- not even as a friend. The case was on the spot handed to another caseworker! We talked to the lawyer about visitation, and he agreed there were problems before, but that he would work toward getting something set in stone and require that she be there or be held in contempt of court! He said that even better than that was trying to get a CASA worker set aside for us!! (The other case worker said absolutely NOT. We couldn't have one.) They are also going to get counseling and parenting classes set up for the kids. The other worker refused to help with any of that.

So all in all, it was a very good day. Obviously, I would have loved for the judge to say that we could have full custody of grandson, but it doesn't happen that fast or easily. It's baby steps to get the best for him. At least now, though, the bad apples have been weeded out, and the kids have lawyers!! I must be thankful for every step of the way...

And I'm VERY thankful to all my friends who have been praying for us and holding us in their thoughts! Believe me, I truly could feel all of you with us this morning. It gave us a calm that I can't even begin to explain. Thank you all...

MUCH LOVE AND MANY HUGS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!

We went to visit grandson yesterday. As usual, she put us off until 3 p.m. (It's been much later quite often. Our 'normal' visitation is 1 p.m.) She won't let us sit with him in the house for 5 minutes while she runs across the street, and yet she let her daughter take him to a coworkers house and SPEND THE NIGHT!! Now, not only is her daughter not supposed to have him at all, she isn't allowed to see the baby without her mother's direct (right in the room) supervision. That blows my mind. And she still won't let us have him for 5 minutes without her being right there. I took her on errands one day, and she wouldn't even let me sit in the car with him by myself!!!! It really makes me angry.

Nonetheless, we had a wonderful visit with the little munchkin yesterday. It was very nice to see him. We brought along the video camera, as well as the normal digital camera that we normally bring. We are hoping to send my parents some videotape for Christmas. They've still never seen him except in still photos.

Well, tomorrow is the court date. I'm so nervous I don't know what to do with myself. I do know from talking to a friend who has dealt with Texas CPS for nearly 5 years now what to expect, and I've talked to our own lawyer. Basically, not being listed on those court documents, we have no rights. We cannot ask for visitation tomorrow. We can't ask for the holidays with him. We can't ask for or testify for anything at all. We will only be there for moral support. It's been a heart breaker, but it's reality. It makes me very sad, but we must go anyway. I have to know what is going on, plus I know that son will appreciate our continued support in this matter. He is going to ask for a continuance since they refused to call him back about his lawyer until just this very morning. That leaves him with no time to talk to him until court tomorrow. I guess that's pretty normal for CPS, too. A continuance would help his lawyer dig up new information, though, so we're hoping it goes that way.

Can I ask that you send up a few prayers in this direction? Pray that the judge is kind and fair, the lawyers are fair, and that the 'right' things begin to unfold for all of us. I know that's probably selfish, but I'm not asking for everything to be perfect for us, just what is fair. I pray that they see what a manipulative, mean-spirited, and unwell woman his other grandmother really is. I pray that they see us for what we really are. Thank you all for all your support and prayers thus far. It means more to us than you know. Your comments and concerns have lifted my spirits. I'm very thankful for you all.

Well, the bad stuff is still there. The court date is next Tuesday. In the meantime, though, I had a very nice visit with grandson this past Tuesday!

She said that he had just had his bottle and was sleeping. He was sound asleep, too. I took him from her. I tickled him and talked to him. Slowly his eyes opened. Once he opened them enough to see me, his eyes became HUGE!! He smiled a broad smile that seemed to cover half his face!! He was so animated and excited that I was there. We laughed and played. I took several pictures and even one video. He is always so happy when I (we) are there. You can tell he's so glad we are there.

But after an hour or so when I began to leave, he became different. When I put him down, he started to fuss and whine. He just kept looking at me and reaching out for me. He kept trying to "talk" and get me to pick him up again. (Which I did a couple of times.) He would sit on my lap and put both little arms around me and bury his face in my chest. He didn't want me to go. When I finally had to go for the night, his other grandmother had to pick him up. He was reaching for me and pouting with his little lip. He was sad to see me go. Of course it broke my heart. ...all to bits.

Then I realized something. He remembers me. He knows me. He's elated to see me come in. He's to an age where he knows, and he wants me there. Though it broke my heart to leave him, I was also very happy in the knowledge that he's understanding now and that he's so happy to be with me. He loves me. How precious and wonderful is that?

It just doesn't get a whole lot better than that...

It warmed my heart tremendously, and left my heart overflowing with love and emotion.

What a precious little one.

**Edit***

I really wish I could say that I was overdramatizing some of this stuff, but if anything, I'm probably not telling you all that goes on. It's far too frustrating and heartbreaking to go into every detail. But it's true, I believe that they just don't care how much she lies. I kept hearing "prove it" from the CPS worker when I brought it up. It's just our word against hers, and heaven forbid they go back on what they've done so far. It just MIGHT prove they were wrong!!! Can't have that...

**End Edit***

Just spoke to the case worker for the first time in about 3 months. Wouldn't you know it had nothing to do with the fact that I've called her many times already. She called me because the other grandmother (if she can be called that) called her and complained about us.

Her exact words were, after about 20 minutes of conversation and questions on my part, "You're just the grandparents. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do for you!"

After this conversation, I'm livid. I haven't been so angry in a long time.

I wish there were more I could say. I'm so tired of feeling this way. ...saying the same things over and over.

We had an appointment to see him today at 1 p.m. Of the last 3 Sundays in a row, she's not shown up when she said she would on 2 of those occassions. Our set time is normally 1 p.m. Three Sundays ago, we waited for her until 4 p.m. After leaving, she called us and pretended she didn't know we had that appointment. Today, she said 1, but at 2 was still giving me excuses why she wasn't there. I told her I'd have to see her tomorrow. I can't deal with this frustration so often. She does it all the time. She says 6:30 during the week when we call. If we're lucky, maybe we can get to see him by 8. ...and that's with an already "approved" by her appointment! She called back when she finally got home today, after I'd already called her, told her I would see her tomorrow and that I was calling CPS because I couldn't take the delays and put-offs any longer, she called back and said I "better not" ever do that to her again!! She told me she had already called CPS and told them the whole story!!! (HUH??!!! Didn't this JUST happen?!) This woman is playing such a scary game, and the poor baby is the one who is losing. I called her daughter to see what was going on. She said she'd gotten into an argument with her mother two nights ago. And as usual, her mother said she was calling CPS.

I'm so tired of this game she feels it's necessary to play.

I had a consultation with a lawyer on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I hand picked her. She said she'd worked with CPS for 7 years as a defending attorney. She said that after 7 years, she could take no more of their games. ...and they're ALWAYS "right." She told me after I questioned her several times about CPS procedures, etc., "My last piece of advice to you is that if you are planning on 'taking down' CPS or winning your case against them based on them not following their own rules and playing correctly, you will lose. They are allowed to play by whatever rules they choose, it seems, and the judge almost always rules for them -- no matter what."

This isn't anywhere near the first time I've heard there's nothing they can do. I guess I just thought with her CPS experience, she might know a few more things than the other lawyers did.

Damn.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL!!!

For the whole 2 of you who may still be reading my blog... ( :D)

All I'm going to say is that things have gotten even worse since I talked to you last. Don't even know how to describe it. I walked into work today and my boss asked how things were going. "OK," said I. She said, "Same old chaos as always? You seem to live in a world of chaos." "Yes," I agreed. "Still chaotic..."

Hubby is back in the hospital. So many MORE tests once he had another episode. He's always had huge veins (so much so that when he was in the military, he was the guy that all the doctors wanted to practice on since his veins were so large). This time, they had trouble finding one. He'd thrown up so many times that he was SO dehydrated that they had trouble finding a vein.

But I'm not here for all that...

Let's try to stay as positive as possible...

This is my precious baby... He's 5 months old now. He's such a precious gift. He makes us fight on even when we have a hard time fighting. He's worth it.

I shouldn't be up right now. It's really late. (...or early if you choose.)

Not much I can really say.

First let me say that hubby is slowly getting better. Some days are better than others, and some days are really bad. The doctors said it would take time, though.

Work is going well for me. I'm managing to stay busy, but I'll only be able to work (and get paid for) 3 of the next 6 weeks. That's how it's always been though. I have to take a week off for Thanksgiving and 2 weeks off for Christmas. The policy there has always been, 'no work, no pay' We'll manage, though. It's nice to have the time off, but horrible when it comes to paying bills.

Son received a certified letter a couple of days ago. His m-i-l has joined up with CPS and ordered a court date to "terminate parental rights". She even included her own daughter in the mix. She's also requesting that all her daugher's rights be terminated. Sad, really. And when it comes down to brass tacks, it's all over money. When she mentioned it to her daughter and they tried to talk about it, her mom actually said, "You are just mad because you'll be having to pay me money!" Huh... What?!!

Umm... This is grating on my nerves so badly. We've recently found out that Texas doesn't have a set 'grandparent's law.' We've been told by a lawyer that we have less rights being the paternal grandparents. It's making me so sad. ...the thought that we could lose that precious baby just tears my heart out. It goes so much deeper than that. It would take me many days just to be able to describe what I'm feeling and what this story entails in this crazy, mixed up, one sided, 'her mom has cps in her back pocket' kind of experience.

When does the craziness end?

But we're working on it. Son is coming over tomorrow so we can discuss the legality of the suit. We're going to see the baby afterward. For all we know, this could be the last time we see him before the Dec. 9 court date. We're going to start calling lawyers yet again. I just want this to be over so badly. I want to have him (a MINIMUM) of weekends. I want him to remember us and how precious and dear he is in our eyes and hearts.

...and that may never happen.

So onward we go yet again.

Thank you all for all your prayers and good thoughts and wishes. We'll hold onto all that as we move forward in this fight.

And here is the precious one with the cutest little sleeper on that says, "I love my Grandma!"
(Taken last week.) He's now 5 months old and weighs 19 pounds. I love him so much...

I couldn't thank you enough no matter how I tried. YOU are what this country is all about. Thank you for your bravery and courage. Thank you for making this country a better place to live. Thank you for freedoms we enjoy on a daily basis because of your sacrifice.

Thank you.

Feeling a bit better today. It isn't like me to be so down. Some days just put you there, though.

I have to say that her mother is increasingly frustrating. No matter what I do. Son won't step up. D-I-L isn't doing much better.

I won't go beyond that.

But it frustrates. And it hurts me to see the light leaving this little ones eyes.

He's so precious, though. I have no choice but to tolerate and to put up with frustration and aggravation just to keep him in my presence as much as possible.

Sometimes I swear, ...I swear, that I feel so alone sometimes.

In the midst of it all -- in the midst of so many people sometimes, I just feel so alone.

Sorry.

This isn't me.

I have not felt like blogging much lately. I'm still pretty tired and not getting enough sleep. So I pretty much just work and go home, do a couple of chores, go see the baby, and sleep. It is getting a touch better, though.

Hubby is slowly getting better every day. He's on the right track anyway. He still has two doctors appointments next week.

I just wanted to share a couple of pictures with you that were taken last weekend. Son came back into town for a little while to visit with us and go see his son. (I guess it upset him greatly hearing his dad was in the hospital.)

Like I said, these were from last Sunday. Hubby had not even been out of the hospital 24 hours yet. That's why he looks a bit tired... Though he was very happy to see grandson again.

I hope that all of you are well and healthy!

(And, no, this is not my house.)

The little angel is now 4 months old. He's just precious... You can tell he loves his Grandad!

And the fun continues... :P

We finally heard from son, even though it was just a quick sentence or two on a public blog. He said he was okay and that he wanted to "say sorry to dad" for his bad behavior at the courthouse. That's good. He said some pretty bad things that broke everyone's heart, especially his dad's.

She's still in the hospital. Don't know when she's getting out. Her mother is trying to get the doctors to keep her in longer this time since she (as do we all) believes that she was released much too early last time.

Hubby broke a rib. We spent part of yesterday in the emergency room. He had slipped and fallen about a week ago. He thought he broke a rib, but said that they couldn't do much more for him than wrap it and give him pain meds. It started to swell -- badly -- so I finally convinced him to go to the ER. Yes, it was confirmed. The good news is that it was a clean break with no bone fragments floating around, nor were any of his vital organs punctured. His liver and pancreas and lungs were pretty bruised, but no internal bleeding. Thank goodness for that!

I'm still working. No real problems (aside from the obvious, ongoing ones) to report. I'm going to see grandson again tonight. I forgot my camera at home, but maybe I'll post a couple more pics of previous ones that I haven't yet posted a bit later on.

Thanks again for all your support, guys. You have no idea how much you keep me going sometimes...

When grandson would stay with us just a short while ago, he would laugh and smile all the time. I've noticed that it's harder and harder to make him smile. It seems to me that he has 'lost' his personality. He used to be so full of joy with us. Even as young as he is, I'm seeing that part of him as nearly gone. The 'sparkle' seems to be lost as he travels from babysitter to babysitter and house to house. It breaks my heart to see that. I've been told recently that I am "the light" in grandson's eyes. I am here to show him care and true, unconditional, love. He knows I am here.
And no matter what, once he looks into my eyes (and truly, he will look everywhere, but once his eyes light on mine), he sees that in me. He smiles broadly and just clings to me when I am there...

I also have friends who see that light in me. They say that they hate to see me so hurt and darkened by this. ...that if I just show my true personality, the light will show through for all to see, and I may not be so hurt by all that is around me. I didn't think people saw that in ME. All I need is that grandson see that in me. To know that others do, too, is absolutely amazing.

I do what I can. I am here when I am needed. ..even for d-i-l and her mother if they need me.

I have not so positive opinions or thoughts about her or her mother, but they are people, too. We all need help now and again from others -- whether it be emotional or physical or just a helping hand when we need it.

The situation is very sad and maddening and crazy. We just do what we can -- when we can -- and hope that it is enough.

Thank you all for being here for me. I TRULY appreciate it. It makes my days easier. I have to say that I have the most amazing blog friends. I really do. I think I just have the most amazing friends, period! Thank you all for all your support.

Here are a couple of pics of the little angel baby. He was 3 months old. These were professionally done. I still believe that a lot of times I take much better pics... ;D

Just got a call this morning. She's back in the psychiatric hospital again. ...a suicide attempt Sunday night. Still haven't heard from son since he behaved so badly.

The world is crazy.

Going to visit grandson tonight.

**EDIT**
Sorry to be so negative. There's just so much "negativity" going on around us. But I do have some happy moments. I didn't want that forgotten. I have a lot of good people in my life who care about me.

We are still in limbo with grandson. We visit a couple times a week. That's about all we can do for now. We just got his '3 month' pics back. He's about 3 1/2 months now and really big (considering how small he was at birth). He seems to be pretty healthy. After hearing the other grandmother's experiences with her own daughter as a baby, I'm more convinced every day that grandson is very much like son in personality. Son was an amazingly good baby. ...very sweet and very happy.

I'd give almost anything to have grandson back with us again.

Yes, she is still in the hospital. Don't know what's going to happen with that. Son is still living a couple of hours away.

Huge setback. Son was not only uncooperative with the law (in court today) and CPS, but he has a HUGE attitude problem. Until today, we hadn't even seen him in two weeks, and he hasn't seen the baby in that long, either. At this point, I'm afraid she'll get sole custody. If that is true, the best we can hope for is filing for unsupervised visits now and again.

Still fighting, though I don't know how much good it's going to do us anymore without son's cooperation.

I love watching those videos of the most precious one. I had the most wonderful compliment today. I went over to see him again. (We also had his 3 months pics taken yesterday.) I sat and talked to him, close to his face - whispering to him - and he smiled this most beautiful brood smile. I then continued on to tickle him. He giggled and giggled. ...one of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard. His other grandmother said, "Dang it! Everyone, including me, has tried and trid to make him laugh. No one else can do it. Just you. What's your secret."

My secret is pure, unadulterated love. He's bonded with me. He loves me. He loves to see me.

Wow...

I love that.

I really love that more than I can say.

Here's another video. This was taken Wednesday. It's a bit better.

I hate that he's growing up without us being there as often...

:(

*sigh*

It's SO hard to be sad, though, hearing him giggle!!

:)